That’s the message Jazzy, a body-positive advocate is sharing through her viral instagram post. Experts tells us why it resonates with couples.
Every couple has to learn to accept their imperfections. While in some cases it maybe personality traits in others it’s what they and society perceives as physical imperfections. The latter can be harder when one partner is constantly compared to the other by society almost indirectly hinting that they are not good enough for them. This can not only hurt one’s self-image and morale but also lead to unnecessary stress in an otherwise happy coupledom. Which is why Jazzy, a body-positive advocate’s recent Instagram post has gone viral finding resonance and encouraging couples to speak about coping with their ‘imperfect bodies’.
How it all started?
Jazzy, a body-positive advocate, recently took to Instagram to share an image of her and her husband holding hands on the beach. In the caption, she opened up about her own insecurities being married to someone who was “born fit.” She posted, “Over the years this man has loved every curve, every roll, and every stretch mark on my body. I never understood why!” she wrote alongside the photo, which was taken by Ryan W Media. “How could he love something that isn’t ‘perfect’? How could a man who was ‘born fit’ love someone like me! I don’t have a flat stomach, I jiggle when I walk, hell if I run up the stairs too fast my body claps (lmao)!!” But after being with her husband for 14 years, she finally learned to love her body.
“But now I see I do have the ‘perfect’ body!!” Jazzy wrote. “Every roll, every curve and every stretch mark is put on me just perfect to make both of us happy!!! I love my body and I finally see why he does too!!” Her body-positive message has found support with many others on social media coming out to share their stories. Her message of learning to love and accept oneself, which in turn will teach us to learn to accept the love of others has encouraged others to share their stories about accepting their ‘imperfect bodies’
Why speaking about it helps?
Clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany shares, “As human beings we are conditioned to think in a certain way, where we feel that if one spouse is perfect and fit, the other is expected to be the same. I encounter many cases where the spouse suffers from low self-worth and body image because people have myriad comments to give about how perfect their spouse looks, indirectly emphasising that they are not a match.” She adds, “Couples should not take these comments personally. Instead, they should talk about their issues with each other and never suppress their emotions to main peace.”
How can you help each other cope?
Seema says acceptance is one way of doing it. Often the person who sees themselves as having an imperfect body is likely to suffer from low self-image. That’s where the other partner can help by encouraging his/her partner. Never put him/her down. Psychiatrist Hemant Mittal, adds, “In India, we have a patriarchal bias, and the body-image is more focused on the female partner than the men. That’s why you will find a lot of men who are completely out of shape while their spouses are in really good shape. However, that is slowly changing.”
Tips to remember
Physical self though important, it shouldn’t become the basis of a relationship. When one partner is in shape and the other is not, the “unfit” partner tends to feel less confident. This makes him/her feel neglected and not wanted. This is the first thing to battle. Give your partner more than one reason above the physical self that are important for being together.
We live in a society where documentation is essential part of feeling good. Instagram, Facebook and Twitter photos of self with partner are an essential way of expressing love.
The photos shouldn’t focus on your looks or should be more “fun loving” one. Making your partner feel that the likes and appreciations are meant towards the togetherness rather than the physical self.
Working out together is an amazing way to bring confidence in your partner. It not only makes him/her feel better but also gives a sense of purpose.
Communication is key. The most stressful comments come from people. They tend to throw in a “Hey you have gained lot of weight”, “You seemed to be enjoying married life, while your husband is not” type of comments. It’s essential to discuss these with your partner. don’t keep the resentment inside of you, else it will lead to lot of negativity.
Back in 2011, Deborra-Lee Furness, Hugh Jackman’s wife shared, “It’s not easy being Hugh Jackman’s other half. I have been almost pummeled by crazed fans or “Hughophiles” who try to get to him. “Literally, they will push you out of the way.” Adding, “Hugh is much more mature than me, so we balance each other out. And heaven forbid I have a human experience and carry a little weight.”
Keely Shaye Smith and husband Pierce Brosnan have not had it easy. Though she was thin and lean when they started dating, Keely has long struggled with her weight, ballooning over the years. Back in 2014, the actor even introduced more intensive workouts into his own routine to balance out her influence on his eating. habits.
SOURCE: DNA India