After the initial “honeymoon” phase in a relationship, it’s completely normal for the butterflies to flutter less often. But losing the spark in your relationship doesn’t have to be inevitable. Here are a few things you can do with your old love to feel your love new again.
- Make Time Alone With Each Other
Plan one curfew-free night every couple of months. Have you kids sleep over at a friend or family member’s house, or get someone to stay over at your house. Go out without a curfew, and enjoy the excitement and freedom of being able to do what you want, at whatever time you want. Structure can be good for many things, but it can be a real romance killer. Giving up the curfew every now and then can reconnect you both to freedom, possibility, and excitement with each other.
- Turn Off Your Phone For An Hour A Day
You survived for years without your cell phone – you’ll survive for an hour a day without it. But that one-hour – during breakfast, dinner or at another set time that you and your partner agree on, means connecting only with the person in front of you. Our devices demand our attention more than we realize – give one hour a day to your loved one, and give affection a place to flourish between you.
- Make Out – Just Make Out
Kissing for the sake of kissing is usually one of the first things to go as relationships become long-term. A peck as you walk out the door in the morning is not the same as taking the time to be intimate with your partner without having sex. Try making out like teenagers, but saving the home run for a few hours later. Let anticipation build. Want each other again. Share the idea with your partner, so he’s not confused, and then remember what it was like to be intimate without an end goal.
- Have Deeper Conversations
As time goes on, couples can fall into the habits of having conversations that are mostly transactional. “What’s for dinner?” and “Who’s picking up the kids from soccer practice?” take the place of questions of the heart. But it’s those deeper questions that keep you connected to each other in a way you’re not connected to anyone else. Set aside some time to ask harder, deeper questions like, “What can I do for you that I’m not doing now?” and “Do you feel like we’re living up to the dreams we had when we started our relationship?” Deeper conversations aren’t always easy to start, but they are an integral part of meaningful relationships.
It is not unusual for the passion in a long-term relationship to wane, but it’s not inevitable that it’s gone for good. Use these ideas to help rekindle the romance with your long-term love, and let your spark turn into a burning flame once more.