While some women choose to wait a while before having kids, there are plenty who opt to start a family a bit earlier. Right now, most of those young women are millennials, and they’re basking in the benefits of being a younger mom — more energy, less need for sleep, and a body that bounces back a bit quicker — but they’re over it when it comes to getting asked the same questions, being told the same things, and honestly, being shamed for starting a family young.
These are 13 of those things that young moms are super tired of hearing — and if you’re one of those moms, just practice your best fake smile/eye roll/polite laugh to get through it. Read on to see how it’s done.
- Was it an accident?
Putting aside that this is probably one of the rudest personal questions you could ask any mom, it’s a little more offensive to a young mom. Regardless of whether the pregnancy was planned or not, no one wants to think of their child as an “accident,” and they don’t want you to be thinking it either.
- You’re still just a kid yourself.
This one likely comes from someone older that views women in their twenties as children, but the reality is, a woman in her twenties is a woman whether she has a child or not. And anyway, most people still feel like kids well after they’ve had their own, no matter what age they were — doesn’t enjoying life like a kid make things better anyway?
- I hope you enjoyed your body while you had the time.
Actually, though, a younger mom’s body has the potential to “bounce back” much quicker, and typically without doing as much. Not that their bodies are any of your business anyway . . .
- But none of your friends have babies yet.
Someone’s got to be first! And a young mom who is the only one with a child in her friend group will likely end up with one spoiled little kiddo, and sometimes all that attention and love isn’t such a bad thing.
- You should have waited until your finances were in order.
Babies are expensive no matter when they come along, so young moms will do what they can to make it work in the same way older moms would.
- Don’t you miss just being young?
A young mom is still young regardless of her parental status — having a baby when you’re young doesn’t age you anymore than engaging fully in your career at the same point in your life would (though that point could be argued — working is stressful).
- You should have travelled and seen the world first.
Actually, because a young mom had her kids while she herself was still young, the kiddos will be out of the house when their mom is likely in their 40s, meaning they’ll have plenty more time — and more money saved up — to travel than if they were in their 20s.
- Didn’t you want to accomplish your personal goals first?
Besides the glaring fact that for many young moms, becoming a mom was one of their personal goals, the typical goals — traveling, establishing a career, paying off debts —that people allude to when asking a question like this can still be accomplished even with a kid. Young moms may have to work a little harder, but there’s nothing wrong with that.
- I hope you’re planning on waiting until the next one.
It’s really none of anyone’s business how far apart a mama has her babies, young or old. Also, you never know when someone might be pregnant, is trying to get pregnant, is struggling to get pregnant, or could have just lost a baby — unsolicited advice can end up really hurting feelings.
- You didn’t take the time to fully enjoy your youth.
You can enjoy your youth with your kiddos, and conversely, you have that much longer to enjoy motherhood and time with your babies overall.
- What do your parents think of you having kids so young?
Well, most parents of young moms probably love that they’ll get that much more time with their grandchildren, and that maybe even their own parents will get to be great-grandparents, a rare and wonderful thing.
- Your twenties are supposed to be for you.
Your twenties can still be for you when you have a baby. Younger moms typically have more energy and need less sleep than older moms, meaning they have more energy to take time for them and their friends or partner.
- Your kids will all be older than your non-mom friends’ future kids.
While this may be true, it’s not the biggest deal in the grand scheme of things, and a young mom will have tons of advice for her friends by the time they’re ready to start families. In the meantime, young moms get to experience the joys of parenthood, but also have friends without kids to keep things exciting and increase sanity levels.
SOURCE: Pop Sugar